Im hurt all the time.

I don't want to cry for the way I feel inside.

I just want someone to hold me...

I'm alone in the dark, please try to find me.

If no one cares, I don't see a point to go on.

Anyone find me! Anyone care!

I'm sorry, I just don't want to be alone anymore.

I feel unheard and unseen. Depressed and weak.

No one cares and yet I'm always the sorry one.

Someone find me! I'm scared.

Please hold me until it all ends.

Just hold me that’s all I want.

I don't want to be alone in the dark.

Just hold me as I start to disappear from the light.

Just hold me as I start to cry.

Just hold me so I wont be alone inside.

Just hold me so I don't do something wrong.

Just hold me so tight, that for a moment I could feel the light....

Strange life

STRANGE LIFE !!!!

There are many places where we bump in our frens and the most common place is our shopping malls.

I too met my fren while shopping for Diwali stuff."hey you got slim Kripa" I exclaimed.. "I have lost a loads of weight " she said with an exicting tone but her eyes were not proud of they were sad.

We met after very long time .and sat to catch up all we missed about each other, there it self in the mall in CCD. it was very beautifully decorated and lovely instrumental music played in the back ground.

we started our chit chat, i asked"Is everythingfine wid u , you dont seems happy to me. first she said yes every thing is fine. "your eyes are not telling me same what your lips are, i see pain and sadness in ur eyes" These words of mine made the tears of her eyes to roll down from there place.

"I am having an AFFAIR karishma" and i asked "what?" totally shocked.

she told me to be silent and first listen to her than give my reaction . i have to agree

Now lets read her words;

"I used to do orkuting a lot, i joined many communities of my interest, interacted wid there members and became frens too. In short span of time i got closer to a man who is married too. we clicked in once and dont really know when we both started loving each other. It is not we dont love our families or dont have sense of our responsibilities . Its that we are complete wid each other. Its like finding missing piece of life puzzle.

Everything was very fine , we both were happy. but soon he got promotions and had many other change in his private life. And the things got changed, suddenly.He asked me to have patience everything will be fine very soon, he will take out time be me, he is trying hard , but never took out.

Where we used to talk daily for" n" number of times now it is ten mins in "n " number of days. Where we used to chat daily for long hours , now i long daily for those hours. This change in out life have make me sad. it like losing t he puzzle piece again, life seems so incomplete. i do look happy in real i am not happy at all.....

I used to fight , complain, argue to him a lot in beginning as losing his time for me was unbearable. but in inner mind had guilt of involving wid married man, he too have responsibilities,and used to get calmer.

The best thing is he haves excuses, reasons or the so called fact for not being in touch. that hurts like anything it make me feels unwanted or forceful relation , so now i dont do complain or anything....i love him very much and dont want any burden to be for him."

Her tears were not stopping. I was staring to her wid mixed feelings. than she asked me" what shall I do karishma, i do love him and not feel being loved. you are my best fren , you do undersatnd my feelings please give me some solution.

I was speech less. i know love can happen anytime, i do understand it". I can not blame her for loving a man other than her own husband. i dont know what to say to her. i did knew came many man who are having affair or love wid other woman out of marriage in this mans real wordl. I said to be calmer, look after her family, enjoy diwali and give sometime to both of u for ur relation. she was now relaxed, lil peace i saw in her eyes,i guess bit of her heart load came out.

In real i dont know what really to say to her i saw twinkle in her eyes when she talked about her love. beinag her close fren shall i tell her to forget her love and devote her life to her husband , kid and family or shall i say do your duty fully of ur family ans keep urself happy by yur love.

I am still in delima what too say...........

हुनर मुझ मैं नही

सच्चा प्यार
मै तो आइना हूँ तू जैसी दिखती है मै
तो वैसी ही बात कहूं
तेरी झूठी तारीफ करने करने का
हुनर मुझमे नहीं

देख तेरी आँखों मै आंसू
दिल मेरा भी रोता है
पर झूठा अपनापन दिखाने
करने का हुनर मुझमे नहीं

चाहत जिंदगी भर के
साथ की है मेरी
यूं पल भर के सुख के खातिर
उपहार भेंट करने का हुनर मुझमे नहीं

प्यार सच्चा हो
और हो दिल दिल की गहराई से
यूं मीठी मीठी बात्तें
करने का हुनर मुझमे नहीं

पाक दिल है शर्मा
मन कांच सा साफ़ है
मन मै कुछ हो
और जुबान पर कुछ और लाने
का हुनर मुझमे नहीं

शर्मा चाहता है तुझे
दिल की गहराई से
पर आपने प्यार का
इज़हार करने का हुनर मुझमे नहीं
हुनर मुझमे नहीं......................
हुनर मुझमे नहीं ................

Gar bikte Gham aur khushi bazar mein, toh kimat na hoti khushi ki is sansar mein,gar ho jata pyar ka ikrar pel bhar mein, toh sache doton unhi rehte rahon main,Gar na milta dard inkaar ka, kaha milta saccha dostis jahan mein

Hasrat hazar hoti hai is dil ki, sab ko pura kar pana mushkil hain,Kissi ke gham ko apna banana assan nahin,markar nigahon main rahoge t annso ban kar chalak jaoge, Rehnah hai to dil main rahon har dahakan main yaad aaoge

Aap se khafa hokar hum jayenge kahan,Aap sa sathi hum payenge kahan.Dil ko to kaise bhi samjha lenge hum,Lekin ANKHON KE AANSU chupayege kahan.

The unbearable pain

When we loose our Friends it hurts,
when we loose our lovers it hurts a lot,
But when we loose our baby its...........

I got married at early age just giving graduation
and soon was blessed wid a lovliest son, being a mother is the greatest gift of nature that was felt on his birth, he was like soft cotton cloud and first time when i touched him i felt on the seventh world, that feelings i am not able to jott down still it was uncompareable.......

I felt i am the happiest person in this world,

I again got pregnant and this time i thought i am the most happiest person in this universe.

as all to be mother plans for there kiddos i also did, i tho ught it will be a lovely daughter i will name her Mishti . She will complete my family , and i thanked god everytime to give me every thing widout asking.

But u know what happiness is not always there just at one step back pain is standing waiting for u to bear it. God take exam too and u need to get through it.

One day while i was sitting i felt some thing wet i went to loo and i was bleeding , but not so seriously still i was scared as no one was there at home, i soon have to go to doctor

That journey was the worst journey of my life,I was scared like anything i called up my husband but he was busy in meeting i couldnt reach him but i reached to doctor in very tensed state, i really didnt knew what to do,i was so helpless i didnt wanted to loose her.........

i was alone in hospital and doc checked me up and said "HEARTBEAT OF YOUR CHILD IS STOPPED". This sentence of my doctor gave me the greatest pain .

I lost her, and for ever i didnt had courage to call my husband and tell. i cried creid and cried

and i still cry, i grief for her....

Mishti was my child who died in my womb for no reason, Shayadh meri hi nazar lag gayi mujhko

My doctor called up my husband and he came in half an hour by the time doc took me for dnc he came he was beside me but i was so soaked in my pain i dint notice his pain she explained everything but she could not expalained why did she died she had no answer for it.., i wish she had......

But she is also human and is here like a god.

My husband was very supportive and decided we wont have other child, and i dont have other child till now i know i have a son but i wanted a duaghter too. We cried by hugging each other for hours and after that we didnt talked about her to anyone, but i know he also misses her.
but never say never let me feel

I still spent sleepless night for her its been two and half years but it feels today for me...

I havent share this wid any one but today when my friend also lost her baby after giving her birth i colud not stop thinking about Mishti. I know this pain have no answer no other child can fulfill it cause each child is special in its own way.



I still think what wrong have i done, why did i lost her ....

She is still alive in me , and i want her to know i love her very much from bottom of my heart

We both love U Mishti

meaning of true friend!!!

Meaning of true friend!!!
When i think about you words become short to explain,
but still trying to express!!!!
You were there like a mountain when i was breaking down and gave me strenghth ,
You were there like a tree when i needed some one to undersatnd and gave me shade,
You were there like sky when i needed to be explained and gave me peace,
You were there like earth when i was confusion and gave me solution,
You were there like air when i was feeling all alone and showe me u there,
There are many frens in my life
but U are special,
All people help u when it suits them
but few people helps u when it suits u
and who help when needed is the truest form of fren.
Thanks for being there in my life!!!!

FORGET HIM!!!

Forget him from yuor heart,
Forget him from your brain,
Forget him from your mind,
Forget him from your soul,
Just remember he have some one new!!!

Forget his name,
Forget his face,
Forget his Voice,
Forget his care,
Just remember how it was all fake!!!

Forget the way he used to talk ,
Forget the things he used to say,
Forget the way he used to fight.
Forget the way he makes to smile,
Just remember all was mere pass time !!!!

Forget how close we were once,
Forget how time flews,
Forget how thought its forever,
Forget he said he will never leave me.

Just remember he has gone for ever!!!
Just remember he always lied to me!!!